Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Spangly's top tips from the top #354

...being an occasional series of insights and suggestions for a better life.

Should it come to pass that you find yourself going out, one monday night, for pizza with friends; and should it happen that you drink half a bottle of red wine and two grappas over dinner; and should it further happen that at around midnight (knowing that you have a long hard day of work ahead of you on the tuesday, including deadlines and things which cannot be postponed) a friend offers you a lift home, here is my advice:

go home. go to bed. sleep soundly. wake up in the morning ready to work.

do not, I repeat DO NOT, under any circumstances, head off into town to meet another friend and drink not 1, not 2, but 5 and a half pints of lager (less the quantity you may or may not have chosen to pour down your silk skirt). Be wise, my friends, and learn from me that breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea are all the human frame requires, and large quantites of lager in the middle of the night are wholly unnecessary and indeed ill-advised.

7 comments:

sp3ktor said...

Well at least you didn't throw up in the back of some hairdresser's vauxhall astra.

I think you have a long way to go before hit the depths of a professional footballer.

Philly said...

Well darling - what can I say? We have been here before.......haven't we??....yawn.
Reminds me of the time you fell out of a car in Wells looking sooooooo AbFab, it had us in stitches!!!!

martinobhoy said...

While recognising your advice as well-intentioned I think I'll choose to ignore it at this time. :o)

Now all I need is to find some friends willing to go out drinking on a Monday.

Aussie Romanista said...

You've just killed my fantasy of finding an intelligent Romanista girl with an English accent and living happily ever after in the eternal city, holding hands in the curva sud singing Romale`... time to move on with my life!!!

Spangly Princess said...

hehe AR,what you thought that (despite some 18 posts labelled "drinking") that I was a clean living, sober type? or did you think it took more than that to get me legless? do let me know in which way I've disappointed....

Aussie Romanista said...

I conveniently chose to ignore those labels to fit you in to the idea of my ideal girl. I thought you were close, but it could be worse, you could have been a pisshead AND an Inter fan haha!
I'm wearing a black tshirt to mourn my loss...

Marco Ursi said...

This is terrible advice. As you've proven, such nights make for excellent blog material.