Are they all sex maniacs, or do I just seem to attract the especially, um, forward types? Or maybe it's Romans?
Exhibit A: this smooth romancer has been calling me at 4.30am a few times recently. I can only imagine what he wants to say to me.
Exhibit B: not to be outdone, this even less appealing prospect has been calling (from May 2006! we haven't seen each other for eighteen months! you gigantic loser) to see if I have developed a sudden appetite for being stood up by witless juventini.
Exhibit C: Last night I was out with a large group of mates and there was a bloke there I have met once or twice before, a friend of a friend, with, I assumed, his new girlfriend. In that they were all over each other in a disgusting fashion even at the dinner table. Apparently they're "just friends" though cos he doesn't want a relationship.
Later there was a bit of drunken banter, along the lines of "you always look great when I see you, when are we going to fuck?" to which I laughed and said "as soon as you get rid of the girlfriend" in an obviously non-serious way. Ah she's not a girlfriend, he said. Brilliant, sez I, CLEARLY JOKING, see you soon.
So I was a bit surprised to be woken up by a phone call at half-nine this morning from him saying "what are you up to right now, can I come round and lick your pussy?"