Wednesday, 6 June 2007

romance: pronounced clinically dead at 11:06 am

Message: You have two missed calls from +39 348 527 **** at 3.09 am and 3.11 am

[check number. Identify Useless Male. Who I have met precisely once.]

Outgoing Message, Destination: +39 348 527 ****, Time: 10.45
Hi, didn't answer when you called cos I was asleep... any reason why you called in the middle of the night?

New Message, Sender: +39 348 527 ****, Time 10.51
I was in Rome for the night and really wanted to have sex with you

Outgoing Message, Destination +39 348 527 ****, Time 10. 59
Ah. We haven't seen each other since New Year's Eve?

New Message, Sender +39 348 527 ****, Time 11.06
I want to stick it up your arse when can we meet?

er.... how about never?


Aussie Romanista said...

so what's wrong with that huh??
It's just boy-speak for "Darling I miss you" !!
Next time I'm in Rome I'll give you a call Principessa !!

btw i noticed someone stole half my nickname. not impressed.

Antonio Gurrado said...

Ah, questi Italiani!



punk said...

ti ricordano solo x quello!

Shep said...

Remember lads - dinner and a movie first. It's only polite...

Useless Male said...

*takes notes*

So you women don't like the old 'how about anal sex' line in the morning? Interesting....

TrentToffee said...

I guess this guy thinks it's a numbers game (pun intended - that's two this week).

I notice he didn't say please. How rude.

jimhancot said...

Erm, I may have done sth similar last night on the way home from dinner with some students of mine, i was passing by the girl's house (a girl i had dumped in a rather arrogant and not nice manner) at 3.30, texted her saying sth along the lines of "am in the area and was just wondering if you were awake, would be nice to see you" or such like. Pretty much the same message as your beau, except expressed a little more discreetly


Spangly Princess said...

Jim, it could hardly have been *less* discreet now could it. his phraseology is admittedly direct and to the point... none of that euphemistic nonsense or even a clinical term like 'have anal sex.' Nope, he goes straight to the unpunctuated point and combines his charming terminology with a refreshing lack of interest in my opinions on the matter.

martinobhoy said...

Does it not sound romantic when said in Italian?

Aussie Romanista said...

If he was an Inter fan you could have replied "Lo scudetto mettilo, mettilo, mettilo nel culo!!!"
Now that's romantic.

Paul de Man said...

As my workmate says;

"It's direct, it's simple, it's self-contained. It's a simple declaritive sentence - it's Hemingway."