Thursday, 31 August 2006

apocalypse more or less now

I'm afraid to tell you that it's the end of the world. Imminently. It must be. There is absolutely no other explanation, not the hint of a shadow of a suspicion of an excuse for a reason for today's extraordinary events.

Two of the world's best players - two internationally acclaimed fuoriclassi - both 22, both utterly fantastic, exciting, supertalented, Argentinian geniuses, have today announced that they are signing for....


... West Ham.

Yes, that West Ham. The ones in East London. Claret and blue. Bubbles. Bobby Moore. Di Canio. The Boleyn Stadium.

Also, as of today, Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano. Yes.

WHAT THE BUGGERY FUCK IS GOING ON???????

In other news, Ronaldinho has announced his lifelong desire to play for Barnet.*

*this is not true. Unfortunately, the first annoucement is. I need to tell you this since the lines between fantasy and reality appear to have irrevocably broken down.

It's not that I'm bitter. Although I am of course extremely bitter. I'm more TOTALLY GOBSMACKED. It's lucky I usually sit down when I'm at the computer or I might have fallen over when I read the news. Alan Pardew has found a way to turn Championship Manager - where I once signed Vieira for Notts County - into the real world.

I can't even think about Nonda to Blackburn on loan or any of the other transfer deadline day news or the Kierkegaard I wanted to tell you about I'm too confused and bewildered.

3 comments:

punk70 said...

io sono rimast sorpreso da qst doppio trasferimento al west ham
e x il palermo in coppa uefa saranno dolori se si scatenano quelli due...
su nonda non commento....

MarvMarsh said...

HEY! It's a perfectly logical transfer. West Ham was the obvious choice for them.

deVertalerin said...

Ah, well, there seems to be some dodgy stuff going on here. Such as a contract obliging West Ham to sell them if they're offered £35 million (each), or, failing selling them, to pay the Corinthian owners/deal brokers the entire profit that would be made otherwise. And this pair will either spend a season in the Prem dazzling us all before being snapped up by some Russian bastard's Portughese lackey OR they'll never settle and be as miserable as fuck à la Reyes.

Meanwhile, Cashley has finally buggered off. I hope he plays once every two months and gets dropped from the national team as not match fit, like poor Wright Phillips, S.

This departure caused much rejoicing chez Herring, in fact PatrickHerring insisted on waiting up in his Corbridge hotel room until it was announced. I'm sure Gallas will do just fine.